You know you're at Home in Hawaii when...

1.  Nobody is sure where "north" is....
2.   The State dog is the pit bull...
3.  On the street where you live, every refrigerator has a bottle of shoyu inside...
4.  Your cousin is Japanese-Chinese-French-Filipino-Korean-Scottish-Portuguese-Hawaiian

         plus some stuff too manini to mention..
5.  To go out on Saturday night and impress the girl, you wear your bestest shorts...
6. Gobos is now just a bunch of vegetables, not a rallying cry for the home team.....
7. Somewhere over the rainbow a big H flies...
8. The most important thing to know about a person is where they went to high school...
9. The second most important thing to know about a person is the year they wen' grad....
10.  Your second home is the beach....
11. Birds walk more often than they fly....
12.  Gambling isn't legal, but you never know it during football season....
13.  You can't see the forest for the political sign-wavers....
14.  It rains buckets on your picnic and everybody agrees.  "It's a blessing"......
15.  You're nobody til somebody says your are part of the ohana.....
16.  Telling an ethnic joke is politically correct.....
17.  Saying "Eh" constitutes major oratory filled with profound implications
18.  The Legislature is a daycare center for troubled adults.....
19.  A pedestrian in a crosswalk, sheeshh, some nerve that guy!!
20.  You watch your favorite shows "on top the TV"...
21.  Stopping to smell the flowers can take all day.
22.  Nobody knows where the "fast lane" is on the freeway.....
23.  The best cooks all use lots of Best Foods mayonnaise...
24.  An approaching hurricane means only one thing....surf's up brah!
25.   The name Duke means royalty....
26.  " You like beef?" has nothing to do with what's for dinner.....
27.  Shopping is an art form....
28.   Las Vegas is Mecca
29.  White rice is a sacrament...
30.  Spam is for special occasions....
31.   Beans (azuki) are the perfect condiment for ice cream...
32.  The ukulele is a classical music instrument....
33.  A silver-haired ex-mayor is like your eccentric uncle....he keep repeating himself and

            nobody pays attention....     (frank f.  f---)
34.   Female volleyball players are major celebrities...
35.  The weather report says "mauka showers"......
36.   A lava rock gives you chickenskin.....
37.  A stranger shares aloha..
38.   This is a classic: What is the fastest animal in the world? A black dog in Waipahu .
39.  You know it's a very formal occasion, because everyone is wearing their best

             sneakers. 

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